On September 16, 2008, our lives were forever changed when James Wilson (J.W.) entered the world. He is a living miracle who has touched our hearts and revealed to us the greatness of God. This is his amazing story.

Friday, September 14, 2012

A heart full of emotions

I have been rather reserved in my social life after James went to be with the Lord nine months ago. We have been growing and finding our way in this "new" life as a family. We recently relocated. We wanted a fresh start. Not so much to run away from the past but have positive change for the future. 
From reading this blog previously, you know that James has two siblings. Tristin, 9 and Mitchell, 5. Our life was so chaotic since September 16, 2008 that we wanted a shift; a more relaxed life with time to focus on the children who were unavoidably neglected in many ways. I think we have found that. Great school, good people and less hustle and bustle (no Walmart down the street).
I am hoping, with the time I have now, to grow as a Christian woman, a mother and a wife.
There were many things that were set aside when it came to caring for James which was ALL of the time. But I tell you, the second I no longer had that blessing I felt empty.
James far exceeded the medical professionals' expectations. I always had a feeling that things would be ok but mostly doubted that feeling with, is THIS "THE TIME". Losing James was the hardest thing I have and probably will ever do. I worked so hard to keep this precious baby boy alive and didn't want to give up. God gives you the grace to let go when you humanly can't.
James' birthday is on Sunday. I haven't decided what to do yet. I want the kids to be involved in something special to thank God for the day James came into our lives. I'll be praying for the perfect thing to remember what a special blessing he was to us and everyone who knew him. I encourage anyone to write a special memory you have of James, I would love to read them.
I am eternally thankful for everyone who supported, prayed, thought, cried and laughed with us as we went through this journey. The journey isn't over. I am hopeful to help other parents going through a similar situation and to be an advocate in the name of James Wilson Taylor for children who can't speak for themselves.
Please pray for our family as we continue in finding a new groove that fits our family like James did.


Lindy said...

26I will never forget the first day I saw and met JW. It was also the first time Allie got to hold him. It was extremely emotional and I am pretty sure I was praying in my head the entire time we were there. My heart was breaking in two for my baby sister and the tiny baby in her arms. JW was still bruised from his traumatic delivery and I just remember wondering to myself how Allie was able to be so strong and so composed and so full of grace at that moment. I have asked myself that very question every day since then only I know the answer...grace. God-given grace, for the times when we need it most and couldn't get through without Him holding our hand and being what we cannot; doing what we cannot. I thank the Lord that I was blessed to be there that day and share in something so special with my sister, it really is beyond words what it meant to me. I have that day and the moment Allie, holding JW for the first time, looked down at him with a look that only a mother can have for her child, engrained in my memory forever. I love you Allie, and your beautiful family...so proud to call JW, nephew and so proud and blessed to have you as my incredible sister and friend.

Having It All said...

We don't know each other, but Lindy is a friend through my sis-in-law, Amber. Through FB posts, Lindy updated often about how JW was doing. I recall that EVERY time I saw him in a picture, he was smiling. What a gift. I prayed for him and for you and for your family. As God brings you to mind, I will continue to pray. Bless you all on this day that God blessed with the gift of JW.

Having It All said...

(The comment was from me - Amy Davis)

Lisa said...

God used JW in so many ways during his life here on this earth. I watched my niece dealing with life and death over and over, and I saw her faith and God's grace grow and grow and grow. I never told anyone this, although you probably heard it on the monitor, but when I would catch him in his room awake with nobody around him for a few short minutes, I would sing to him and he would look at me and smile such a big smile that it made my heart fill with such love and inexpressable joy. I always wanted to know what he was thinking. His face was so expressive and his laugh so contagious, I always felt that there must be angels in the room with him. I am privileged to be his aunt and I look to the day when I see him in heaven and get to hear all of his stories. I am blessed to be your aunt, Allie and Lindy, and I love you more than words can express. God did not give me children, but he gave me nieces and a beautiful great-niece and great-nephews. I thank God for eac and every one of you.

Sunni Len said...

Prayers for you Allie and family. I am so glad God allowed you such a blessing in your little miracle baby.